The advice I was never given

Nine months is the perfect amount of time to prepare for the arrival of a child.  To be honest, you're never quite ready for the drastic increase in responsibility, lack of sleep or postpartum hormonal roller coaster.  Nine months does however, allow for enough time to relish in the excitement of finding out your expecting, gather all the basic baby essentials, grow out of all your pre-pregnancy clothes and conduct loads of research about the pregnancy/baby's development in utero. One other inevitable encounter that an expectant mother will be faced with is becoming the recipient of everyone's well meaning advice.  I lost track of how many times I had been advised to get my sleep now, before the baby comes...  While it's very true, sleep does become highly sought after and not very likely once a newborn enters your world, now having been through it myself there is so much more constructive advice I wish I had received.  This post is dedicated to all my girlfriends who have yet to enter motherhood.
1. Am I in labour?  The night before Brayden was born my two sisters were at my house visiting.  The three of us were sitting around the kitchen table chatting when I began to notice a sensation I hadn't experienced for the past nine months -- menstrual cramps.  I mentioned these uncomfortable pains to my sisters and they immediately questioned whether I was in early labour.  I got a bit excited about the possibility of finally meeting the little baby that had been growing inside me for the past 40 weeks but was skeptical that I was in fact experiencing contractions or even Braxton Hicks. I was expecting contractions to feel completely different; like my entire pregnant belly was contracting.  I can now confirm that I was mistaken.  But no where in any of the books that I read or pre-natal classes I attended was the sensation of a contraction described.  This would have been really useful to know while I had been mentally preparing for the birth.  Although I felt a bit silly admitting I did not know what a contraction would feel like, the more moms I talk to I realize I wasn't the only one.
2. Breastfeeding isn't all it's cracked up to be.  During my pregnancy, my hubby Andrew and I had agreed that I would exclusively breastfeed for the first year of our baby's life.  So, when Brayden was born and breastfeeding quickly became more of a challenge than the natural, loving experience it had been described to me as being deflated doesn't even begin to describe how I felt.  The issues I encountered included: baby with a severe tongue tie (a tongue tie prevents baby from being able to draw milk effectively); extremely weak milk supply (after weeks of taking more than 20 capsules of blessed thistle & fenugreek (herbs) per day I was eventually prescribed domperidone to help promote milk supply) and; cracked, sore nipples (it felt as thought I had severely sunburned nipples with a crab hanging off each one. Ouch!)  Under no pressure but my own determination I endured the frustration, pain and tears for 10 weeks which was when things finally turned a corner and were looking brighter.  On the other hand, don't feel guilty or defeated if you need to supplement with formula (I did for the first month and a half) or switch over to exclusive formula feeding.  What's important is that your baby is being fed.
3.  Whatever works.  So many moms I talk to often feel guilty for decisions they make as it relates to their infants.  We're given so much unwanted advice such as not to co-sleep because once you start it will be near impossible to stop; breast is best; etc. But when it comes down to it every baby has unique needs and wants and will react differently to every situation.  There comes a point where we as moms need to hang on to our sanity so, if you've found a way to make both baby and mommy happy, regardless of what other people's opinions are, then I say keep doing it and always remind yourself that you're doing what's best for your new family.
4. Make time for yourself.   As a new mom, this certainly isn't an easy thing to do especially during the first few months brining baby home.  But, it's so necessary.  This could be as simple as finding time to take a 5 minute shower or going out for a cup of coffee with your husband while someone else watches your little one. Just a few minutes of 'you time' will help you feel like a whole new person and allow you to engage with your baby with a clean slate.
5.  Get involved.  We are so fortunate in Canada to be given the opportunity to stay at home with our new babies for a whole year.  That said, however, the lack of social interaction during the day quickly wears. Going for walks outside or at a mall is great but becomes redundant and lonely after a while.   Within the first 48 hours of being home with your new baby, you'll get a call from Public Health offering to have a nurse come by your home. Take them up on it. Not only will they make sure you've prepared your home appropriately for a newborn and answer any immediate questions you have but, they'll also connect you to local resources and introduce you to mommy/baby groups in your neighbourhood.